Friday, March 27, 2009

Another about me!!!!.. think u can handle it???!!.. then go ahead... i assure u..its gonna be fun this time around for u too!!!!......

This is one of those long, random, slam-book kind of question answer things.. I came across this in one of the blogs I follow…. I loved it… so I copied it n filled it wid my ramblings…

Feel free to copy it… n tag ur friends too… see u’ll have fun!!!...

But lemme warn u… it quite long…. So my heart felt appreciation to all those people who r gonna fill this fully and properly… n even more to those people who are gonna read this fully and properly…

Hav fun people!!!...

99 Questions

1. What is your full name?

Lavanya S Ishwaran


2. When is your birthday?

July 15th


3. What is your sex?

Female


4. Do you have siblings?

Sadly no….


5. Who do you live with?

Parents


6. Are you single?

YES!!!!... N prefer to remain so…..


7. Do you have pets?

Nope…


8. What is your hometown?

Tamil Nadu (Kumbakonam)


9. Where do you live now?

New Delhi


Part 2 - What is your favorite…


10. Color?

Blue, Black and Pink


11. Day?

Friday and Sunday


12. Month?

January and February


13. Season?

Monsooon any day…. N then winter


14. Animal?

I love puppies… but hav none


15. Flower?

Rose, mallipoo… n I like the look n colors of Sunflower & Tulips


16. TV Show?

There is nothing tat interesting tat can keep me hooked up to d tv.. Love Airtel Super Singer though…


17. Movie?

Since m a movie fanatic.. Its gonna be a long long list… I’ll make a new note for tat.. :P :D


18. Commercial on TV?

Carbury’s ad’s (d old ones… which take me back to my childhood!!.. nostalgic… nostalgic… nostalgic..), Airtel, Chennai silks Vivaaga( I am biased there… my chachu is in there.. :P J ), ICICI Jeetey raho ad.. a few more.. don’t remember now.. will add later…


19. Song?

Phew!!!... tat wud be an endless list… I’ll have to write a book then… coz’ I keep discovering new ones…. So most certainly cant name a few…


20. Food?

Mum’s Rajma Chawal, the typical Bombay Ice Gola, Bombay bhel puri n Pav Bhaji. I just can’t get enough of it… literally all junk!!!... :-P :)


21. Disney Character?

Winnie the pooh, Cinderella, Snow White (of course dummy.. I believe in fairies… :D )


22. Cartoon Character?

Tom & jerry for sure…


23. Non-alcoholic drink?

Nimbu paani… sumtimes the blue lagoon mocktail…


24. Alcoholic drink?

I don’t drink :)


25. Kind of dessert?

Cadbury’s dairy milk chocolate……


26. Restaurant?

Chungwa for Chinese, Dhabha(In Claridge’s for Punjabi)


27. Store?

None…


Part 3 - If you could…


28. Go anywhere in the world where would you go?

Why just one place in the world.. I wud love to tour the whole world….


29. Talk to anybody dead or alive who would you choose?

To the Comedy King Nagesh Sir!!!... tats one of the many desires unfulfilled…


30. Do anything you wanted to what would you do?

I wud like to read a few people’s mind.. who confuse me to no end about wat they want from… what they want me to do…


31. Change one thing about the world what would you change?

Remove the border from the maps… n the hatred from the hearts between India and Pakistan


32. Have one superpower, what would it be?

I’d demolish terrorism, child labor, rapes, poverty… n remove all orphanages and old ages in one stroke…. n adopt each n every one of those kids.. n old grand ma’s n grand pa’s.. if only I cud!!!.... sigh!!!.....


33. Change one thing about your past what would u change?


I’d like two things…. to go back in time and correct some mistakes in life…. Not because I regret making them.. but because I caused a lot of pain n disappointment to people I love…. I regret tat… Secondly, I’d learn music properly... I mean though I hav.. I wish I cud go back n take music more seriously…


Part 4 - What is your least favorite…


34. Color?

Florescent & Orange!


35. Day?

Monday…


36. Month?

June…. Its hot hot hot in Delhi


37. Season?

Summer


38. Animal?

Many creepy n crawly ones…


39. Flower?

None


40. TV Show?

All the daily soaps n serials.. wish I cud remove each and every one of ‘em…


41. Movie?

Then again many…. Recently Ram Gopal Verma ki Aag.. a murder of one of all time fav muvi ever…


42. Commercial on TV?

Harpic ad, men’s inner wear n perfume ad’s… sanitary napkin ads… all of ‘em are eeeuw!!!!!…..


43. Song?

Any song sung by Himesh reshamiya…


44. Food?

Umm.. there r a few.. I wudn’t name ‘em.. coz if my mum comes across this.. she’ll kill me.. :P :D


45. Disney Character?

None really


46. Cartoon Character?

Dunno..


47. Non-alcoholic drink?

Complan and horlicks… n turmeric milk… eeuw…


48. Alcoholic drink?

Tried vodka once.. hated it!!!!!!!!...


49. Dessert?

Anything too sugary!!!!!!!!


50. Restaurant?

Urghh.. I can name quite a number…


51. Store?

Any store which is packed from 10 am to 10 pm wid people who are there to buy clothes, jewelry(especially) n stuff when they don’t even need ‘em…. N I hate shopping hours n hours n hours…


Part 5 - If you’re a girl fill this part in (guys skip to part 6)


52. What do you look for in a guy?

Hmmm.. for once I am gonna answer truthfully n properly widout avoiding the issue… Should share my interests and passions!!!.. Needen’t hav the same interests n passions, but shud be able to understand my need for ‘em… Should atleast like music(coz I love t), it wud be nice if he loves to travel coz I hav a long long list of places I wanna see…shudn’t be stuffy, snobbish n proud about his money or talent… if he has it in abundance.. gud for hime( n me :P) but why throw it around… Should laugh wid me.. n we should be able to laugh at each other n ourselves too when we are together.. we should have loads n loads of arguments.. fight… tear each others hair out n our own too.. :P :D but should make up sweetly in the end… he definitely should be romantic.. but not over the top – Knight in shining armor kind… should let me fight my own battles n just be there by my side( coz’ tats all I need).. should be able to lean on me… as I wud on him… Should love my parents d way I will love his… Can be a momma’s boy!!.. I really don’t mind.. coz all guys are…. But that one thing which is more important than anything else is tat he should NEED me… NEED me to be there in his life… LOVE me… But also Trust me!!!

Phew!!!!!... errrr.. am I asking for too much????.... I probably am.. but wat the heck!!... M not perfect.. So m Probably Asking More than I Deserve…. But one thing is for sure.. I don’t wanna perfect guy either.. :) :)


53. Long or short hair?

Short


54. Book smart or jock smart?

Jock Smart


55. Tall or short?

Tall(but not very tall.. otherwise I’ll feel like a midget)


56. Big or little muscles?

Doesn’t really matter.


57. Sweet/sensitive or Sweet/tough?

Sweet, sensitive and Tough


Part 6 - If you\’re a guy fill this part in (girls skip to part 7)


58. Tall or short?

59. Beauty or brains?

60. What do you look for in a girl?

61. Long or short hair?

62. Curly or straight?

63. Sweet or butch?


Part 7 - The first thing that comes to your mind when you hear….


64. Farm –

Lots of long green grass n cattle's… :)


65. Zoo –

when my whole family and my extended family wid all my lovely cousins has a get together.. hehe :P :D


66. Red -

Bold


67. Bug –

hate ‘em!!!!


68. Punk -

hairstyle


69. Ralph –

wats tat??


70. Glue –

sticky…


71. Mouse –

jerry :P


72. Fire -

pure


73. Life –

endurance n patience


74. Phone -

mobile


Part 8 - In the next 10 years do you see yourself…


75. With a job?

Yes!!!!... but a job I love.. not a job which is just a job n will always remain a job…


76. Married?

Ummm… Guess I won’t have a choice as far as this goes… U know d usual emotional atyachaar… :P… But I hope it will be a Love +Arranged marriage (sigh!!... m a romantic still… some habits die hard…. But I also love my parents to death.. so I hav to hav tat combo)


77. With kids?

Yes!!.. for sure… But hopefully one of ‘em adopted…. :) :)


78. In a different town from the one you’re in now?

Though I love Delhi.. i wanna settle in south…. Chennai or Hyd in tat order.. :)


79. With a pet?

Dunno.. if possible


80. With a lot, or a little money?

Not more or less than what I actually need… I don’t wanna be super rich.. nor do I wanna start worrying about d month coming to an end.. n pending bills… none of the extremes…


81. In your own house?

Yup…


82. Happy?

Of course!!!.. tats one thing i dearly want.. to be happy n to make the world around me happy...


83. Still friends with the friends you have now?

Of course…Duh!!!.. tats a dumb question


Part 9 - What is your favorite memory of…


84. Elementary school?

Playing lots of pranks( m surely not gonna tell u abt 'em.. :P :D ) Making loads n loads of friends.. all the school competitions we participated…. Forging friendships tat last still :)


85. High School?

Freak out… did not take education seriously which I regret… the first brush of innocent, naïve love.. which will be there in memory ever.. the messenger service we played for other lovers n couples.. :)


86. College?

Everyday was memorable… learnt new things… created new things… :)


87. University?

Result day!!.. yay!!.. m a graduate finally!!!


88. Prom?

Don’t have one…

89. New Years?

The year 2000… stepping into a new millennium.. there was a thrill…

This year 2009…. There is a flavor of fresh hope… new milestones to be achieved… a smell of a happy ending romance… (yeah yeah yeah.. I know I am a romantic….)


90. St. Patricks day?

I seriously don’t have any idea about it…


91. Christmas?

Love to look out for santa.. he brings lot of joy n hope… :)


92. Halloween?

Seen n read in movies n books.. tats all...


93. Summer?

Summers of my childhood when I used to spend it wid my cousin.. looking forward to the summer this year as I hav new prospects lined up.. which are important in many ways.. :)


Part 10 - Would you rather be…


94. Hot or cold?

Cool!!!... :)


95. Tired or wired?

Wired!!


96. Hungry or full?

Full!!


97. Tall or small?

Tall!!


98. A lion or a tiger?

Ummm.. Both at a distance…


99. Canadian or American?


Huh???!!!!!.. An INDIAN any day!!!.... :) :) :)



Phew!!!!!!!!!!!!!..... finally finished it!!!!.... long process.. given the fact tat I write so much… but loved every minute of writing it!!!... I have a better inkling of myself now!!...

Kudos to everyone who read this fully!!!!!.... :P :D :)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Agle janam mohe bitiya na keejo!!!!!!!.....

Every time i hear this song it pulls something deep in me... I can really emphasize with the feeling behind this song... Coz' i can truly relate to it... understand the pain... n i really do wish the same at times.. i don't compare my pain with her.. but still i have my own share of 'em....

Here go the lyrics of the song........




Ab jo kiye ho daata..... aisa na kee..jo...(2)
Agle janam mohe... bitiyaaa na keejo...(2)

Ab jo kiye ho daata... aisa na kee..jo!!!....

"-muzic-"

Jo ab kiyo ho daata aisa na keejo.. (2)
Agle janam mohe bitiya na keejo...(2)
Jo ab kiye ho daata aisa na keejo

"- 1st para-"

Hamre sajanwa hamra dil aisa todin;
Uu ghar basayin hamka rasta ma chodin,
Jaise ke lalla koi killona jo paave;
dui char din toh khele phir bhool jaave,
Ro.. bhi na paave aisi gudiya na keejo...

"-Agle janam mohe bitiya na keejo-"

"-2nd para-"

Aisi bidai bolo dekhi.. kahin.. hai;
Maiyya na babul bhaiyya kauno nahi hai,
Aasoon ke gehne hain aur dukh ki hai doli;
Band kewariya morey ghar ki ye boli,
Is or sapnon mein bhi aaya na keejo...(2)

"-Agle janam mohe bitiya na keejo-"
"-Jo ab kiye ho daata aisa na keejo-"
-Agle janam mohe bitiya na kee... jo!!!!...-"


Agle janam mohe...... bitiya na keejo




Click the above link for the video....


I will translate the lyrics in english soon... not in a mood or to be more precise not ina mind set to do it now.. writing these lyrics itself drew out a lot pain.. cant dwell on the meanings now.... so till m sane enuf to write again

Au Revior!!!!!


Take care people.................



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Friday, March 20, 2009

Being Helpless!!!!!......


HELPLESS!!!!!!......


This word frightens me to death..... Scares the hell out of me.......
Being helpless is perhaps the scariest thing in my life... N incidentally it happens all the time... Ummm.. not all the time maybe... but too many times to scare me.....

I feel helpless when i see children who should be in schools or secure at their homes, begging on the roads... i probably can give them money/food at that moment.. But beyond that m helpless!!!!!!....


I feel helpless when i see kids abandoned on the roads, babies left in orphanages... How can anyone give up their own child???!!!!.. Look out and see how many parents crave, pray n plead to God for the blessing he has bestowed upon u!!.....

When i see some old grandpa's n grandma's.... living their second innings of life.... ALONE!!!... In old age homes.. or sometimes neglected in their own homes... fighting the new demons of life all by themselves.. I feel helpless.... How can a child shun a parent like tat.... A parent who has not only given u life!!.. But also nurtured it!!!....

When i see terrorists blowing apart this country to pieces... because of misguided values... i feel helpless.... helpless to stop them....

When i see the youth submitting or turning towards terrorism as solution to their problem.. as a revenge to their pain.. i feel helpless!!!.... helpless to guide them.... helpless to make them understand that, giving back that pain, resorting that harm on innocent people can never ever lessen your pain or compensate your loss....

When I see my family and friends in pain.... when i see them upset..... distraught.... heart-broken.... anguished..... let down.... I feel helpless!!!.... I feel so helpless...... Helpless in easing their pain... in lessening their hurts.... in consoling them... Helpless coz' they don't seem to need me.....


This HELPLESSNESS threatens to overwhelm me.... undermine me..... alienate me... Making me feel insecure of my necessity in this world.... Unwanted by the relations i have been blessed with n the ones i have formed.... Uncertain about my reason to live on!!!!!....
But most of all... it makes me feel IMPOTENT!!!.... A complete FAILURE!!!!!!!.... coz' i cant do damn about all this except for cribbing here.... condemn myself... or let my tears wither for waste........ :(:(:(:(:(





Still Confused!!!....

Let me be very honest.... I still don't have any idea why i started this blog.. or why i still have it.... It most certainly is not my journal... I started and stopped writing a diary long back... Not because its a tedious process.... oh no!!!.. not at all!!!... (by now its quite understandable tat i like writing lot of crap)

But because writing a journal can be really distressing.. when u look back.. it takes u back to the same painful journey u have come through.. through the same pains.. losses.. n MISTAKES!!!..... Mistakes for which i have yet to forgive myself for... Its quite amusing at times tat, its so easy to forgive others... But forgiving thyself is next to impossible... or if at all it happens u ask yourself a price for it....

Anyway, coming back to my blog.... i sometimes have this BIG urge to write down every little thing, every silly thought tat comes to my mind...
Every heart break i go through.. every betrayal i have been subjected to... Every time i failed at something or the other..... But i just cant seem to.... the fear of baring myself to the world. is too big!!!!....

But for my sanity atleast i need to write down what i feel.. otherwise all this bottled up inside me will make me go mad!!!....

For once m gonna say every random thing tat comes into my mind...

first being,

"I just cant be what you want me to be!!!!... Coz' I can only be ME!!!!... as i have always been... as u hav always known me to be!!!!!.....

We will come to the others gradually.. thats all for now!!!!......

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